Dreams

I've always had dreams of lost loved ones every now and again. Please don't think I'm crazy, but I always appreciate those that let me hold them again, if only for a moment, if only in my dreams. I've only had one dream about Jacob since he passed away. It was about a month after we lost him. I was holding him in my arms and telling him how much I missed him. Suddenly he started to squirm and I knew he had only come back to say goodbye, and that he was ready to return to the place where he'd come from, in heaven with our Savior. I held him for just a moment longer, then let him go. Of course I awoke crying, wishing I could go back to sleep and stay with him forever.

Sometimes when I really miss him, I go to sleep praying for just one more dream, but nothing happens. Last night I went to bed thinking about Jacob and all the Tiny Handprints happenings - we've had a big week, I'll explain more later. I had my second dream about him...a dear loved one of mine had passed away and I was down, thinking that I had not only lost my friend, but my son as well. Suddenly, I heard someone say "No, not Jacob. Only one had to go, so he is yours, to live again with you." Then there he was in my arms, as beautiful and bright as I remember him. He told me he was proud of me for all we've accomplished with Tiny Handprints. I just held him and rocked him and loved on him until I suddenly awoke from my dream, again saddened that it was just a dream, but grateful for the chance to hold him again...if only in my dreams.

This blog thing...

I know I'm not the most talented "blogger" out there, but after much encouragement by friends to add one to the site, I did. I think for now I'll use it mostly as a place to link blogs of other SIDS families, with their permission of course, so that fellow SIDS families can connect with each other. Wishing you all a Happy New Year, one filled with restored joy and peace, and continued healing as we grow in our grief together.

One of my favorite poems...

This was on my mind tonight, so I thought I'd share. It's one of my favorite poems.

God hath not promised skies always blue
Flower strewn pathways, all our lives through;
God hath not promised sun without rain,
Joy without sorrow, peace without pain.

But God hath promised strength for the day,
Rest for the labour, light for the way,
Grace for the trials, help from above,
Unfailing kindness, undying love.

God hath not promised we shall not know
Toil and temptations, trouble and woe;
He hath not told us we shall not bear
Many a burden, many a care.
But God hath promised strength for the day,
Rest for the labour, light for the way,
Grace for the trials, help from above,
Unfailing kindness, undying love.

God hath not promised smooth roads and wide,
Swift, easy travel, needing no guide;
Never a mountain, rocky and steep,
Never a river turbid and deep.

But God hath promised strength for the day,
Rest for the labour, light for the way,
Grace for the trials, help from above,
Unfailing kindness, undying love.

`Annie Johnson Flint

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testing, testing, 1-2-3...seriously, i need an extreme blog makeover